She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
