butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
