Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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