that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
