Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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