I accidentally burped into my bong.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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