to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
