Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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