Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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