i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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