So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he told me I talked like a deaf person
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
