three words: i give head
three words: not that well
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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