just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
