i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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