You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
