It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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