I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
