i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
