Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
How does one acquire holy water?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
