Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
