i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
