The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
