Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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