stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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