Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
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