Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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