Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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