wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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