lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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