Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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