I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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