How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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