So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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