somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
