you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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