eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Randomize
