And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
