This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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