Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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