You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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