U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
