he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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