making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
