Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
