I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
being pregnant is like rehab
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
