Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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