When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
