Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
