How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize