Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
