Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
