I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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