Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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