He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
