I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
