its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
