I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
