She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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