Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon