Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.

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  (313) 1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head. http://tfl.nu/u795
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.

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  (919): I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here. http://tfl.nu/lixe
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth

  (330): View more from Ohio

  well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth

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  (440): i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth (330): well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth http://tfl.nu/ms7e
  Replies (25) Good night (4893) Bad night (482)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo

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  (413): i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo http://tfl.nu/a19q
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  (972): View more from Texas

  some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.

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  (972): some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance. http://tfl.nu/2gcf
  Replies (32) Good night (13402) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.

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  (650): My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent. http://tfl.nu/z7vz
  Replies (7) Good night (794) Bad night (3145) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.

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  (585): Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did. http://tfl.nu/1e6o
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  (714): View more from California

  So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.

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  (714): So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life. http://tfl.nu/wgtn
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch

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  (804): She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch http://tfl.nu/datu
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  (585): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"

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  (585): I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome" http://tfl.nu/e453
  Replies (4) Good night (4432) Bad night (756)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight

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  (905): I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight http://tfl.nu/g5pa
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...

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  (719): Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this... http://tfl.nu/zlco
  Replies (2) Good night (479) Bad night (972) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.

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  (250): I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder. http://tfl.nu/j76c
  Replies (9) Good night (2182) Bad night (668)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  You fucker.

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  (603): Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age. (1-603): You fucker. http://tfl.nu/7pi3
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.

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  (217): I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times. http://tfl.nu/aihm
  Replies (0) Good night (492) Bad night (306) Order T-Shirt

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