Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...