my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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