cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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