i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
