at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
