the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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