How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
